Want to Be a Better People Person? Put Yourself First. Why self-awareness is so important and how you can improve yours

By: Holly Brochmann

You’re probably familiar with the term “people skills.” It’s a handy attribute both in life and in the workplace, in our industry especially. Generally, it means getting along with, relating to, and talking to people with ease – an outgoing personality vs. one that is more reserved or introverted.

A fancier term for people skills is emotional intelligence, often referred to as EQ. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of those around you. The Harvard Business Review writes that emotional intelligence has evolved into a must-have skill, is a strong predictor of performance, and that the majority of managers value EQ over IQ.

If you want to boost your EQ or sharpen your people skills, it is my belief that you must first focus on one person in particular – yourself. This may come across as a self-centered suggestion, but it is anything but. Self-awareness is a primary element of emotional intelligence and is the gateway to nurturing other relationship management skills such as empathy. It also happens to be one of my personal favorite characteristics. Unfortunately, it’s somewhat scarce. Researchers have found that although 95% of people think they’re self-aware, only 10 to 15% actually are.

Like any skill or talent, self-awareness comes easiest to those with a natural ability. But it can be developed and cultivated, and it is possible for an individual to raise their self-awareness along with their EQ overall if they recognize its value in the workplace and are committed to daily improvement practices.

Google is full of articles with tips on how to enhance self-awareness, with meditation and journaling as common suggestions. But if you are like me, it’s unrealistic to adapt these practices into your daily routine. At least at first. So try the following three mindfulness strategies instead:

1. Pay more attention. Notice your response to others, and their response to you. What bothers you the most about people? What behaviors or actions are most likely to trigger your emotions, both positive and negative? What qualities do you find yourself drawn to in associates, coworkers and friends?

2. Be curious. Ask questions of yourself and explore how and why you respond the way that you do in certain situations. Be curious about others as well – instead of jumping to conclusions, try asking yourself – how would I have responded if I were in their shoes? What is going on in their lives that might have influenced their response?

3. Identify your emotional strengths and weaknesses. Take a personality test, or better yet, ask trusted individuals who know you well to give you a list. If some of their responses surprise you, then that’s a good indicator your self-awareness could use a boost.

Warby Parker co-founder and co-CEO Neil Blumenthal said, “A workplace that encourages self-awareness is an environment where the most productive, curious, and innovative people thrive.” I wholeheartedly agree. What do YOU think?

Great Storytelling Never Changes

By: Bob Hope

The world changes, but great storytelling never does.

I have more experience in public relations and communications than anyone else on earth. That’s not bragging. It is just the way it is.

After all, I started working in public relations when I was in college and became public relations director of the Atlanta Braves at age 24, immediately dealing with hundreds of media who were traveling with Hank Aaron during his chase of the all-time home run record. That counts for dog years of experience. Then, I worked directly for Ted Turner during the “make me famous” phase of his life. That counts for hyper dog years. I also worked for years in New York City at the top level of the largest public relations agency in the world, and my specialty was dealing with big-name CEOs, so that adds up to even more dog years of experience. So, conservatively, in a normal world, I have abnormal experiences. It is fair to say I have well over a century of experiences jammed into a half-century of working in communication. So, I must have learned something or at least developed some seasoned observations.

So, here are 10:

  1. There are good leaders and bad ones. The good ones typically know how to communicate well. Management and leadership are nothing more than being able to communicate well. Think about the kids’ game of telephone, where a group sits in a circle and whispers a message from one to the next until it circles the room. In the end, the message that started is typically distorted and nowhere close to the one that started. Now, think of the CEO at the top of a company with hundreds or even thousands of employees. If the message at the top isn’t clear, there is no way it will make it to the workers. It is all about communication.

  2. If you are a leader, there is no such thing as a casual or inconsequential comment. Because of your leadership position, people tend to listen and react to what you say. Don’t take that for granted. There is power in your words.

  3. If you are speaking to a crowd, realize that the attention span of the average person is seven minutes, and everyone isn’t on the same time clock. You need to get the attention of the group and keep their attention. So, every seven minutes, it is necessary to reset their clocks, even by saying something like, “Listen closely to what I am about to say; it is very important.”

  4. Some words are much more impactful than others. The average movie contains about 30,000 words. Yet, one sentence from a movie can live on in memories while others are forgotten. “Make my day…… Frankly my dear…. There’s no crying in baseball.” Try to master the art of creating a memorable phrase. We go on a “wild goose chase” or “break the ice” at the start of a meeting or think “love is blind” because Shakespeare told us those things 400 years ago.

  5. A big idea is in the eye of the beholder. Something similar is said about beauty. Sometimes ordinary ideas can be great simply because of the passion and power that are put behind them.  

  6. Fame has power. If you aren’t famous, you chase down opportunities one at a time. If you are famous, the world comes to you. It is much easier to have people line up and present opportunities to you than to chase them down one at a time.

  7. Great stories take on lives of their own. We too often worry about how to communicate rather than what to communicate. The power is in the message.

  8. Organizations are like people. They have distinct personalities based on more than what product they sell. In a competitive environment, the most beloved company most often wins.

  9. Newspapers are still alive and well. It is popular to say that the newspaper industry is dying, and in fact, the industry is changing. However, because of the internet, newspapers have more readers today than in the past. Also, business leaders sometimes say they don’t care about the local newspaper because of their perception that people don’t read it. One thing they can count on is that every one of their employees will read it if the news is about their company. Newspapers still have power, and mainstream media still leads and prioritizes the news.

  10. Creativity makes a huge difference when communicating and motivating. In a cluttered media world, the clever phrase or approach is needed more today than ever before. P.T. Barnham wrote a paper called, “The Art of Publicity,” which is an education in creativity. He wrote about his opening the P.T. Barnham Museum in New York and how he did everything smart marketers told him to do – ran ads, gave out free tickets, passed out flyers. They didn’t work, and then his money ran out. What he did to make the museum successful teaches more about marketing than any four-year degree. Brilliant.

Good communication is at the heart of informing, motivating, inspiring, creating devotion, love, and reaction. Bill Gates is famous in the PR industry for saying that he would spend his last dollar on PR and that telling the story of any product is at the core of success. That makes perfect sense. It is amazing how some corporate leaders understand that and others don’t.  

The Power of Words

By: Ann Nelson

OK, I admit it. I listen to NPR. That fact may say more about my age than anything else – but that is an entirely different blog!

But back to NPR…NPR once broadcast of series of essays entitled “This I Believe.” The essays were sometimes written by famous or renowned people. Often, they were ordinary people with an extraordinary ability to communicate a thought, concept or belief. They all very clearly illustrate my belief … I believe in the power of words.

If you doubt that words are powerful, just witness the anguish caused by teens and even tweens bullying with words sent via text messages or posted on social media. A young person can become distraught over a misspoken word or biting remark by a BFF. I cannot even imagine the pain that would be inflicted by the sort of dirty campaigns that some kids have had to endure at the hands of their peers. The relative anonymity of the internet allows the bullying to continue far too long and the message to be distributed far too quickly and widely.

Recently, we have seen how words have spurred action. A news report on the climate-induced famine in Madagascar prompted more than 22,000 listeners to donate more than $2.7 million to famine relief. Hearing the words that our neighbors and fellow human beings are suffering has encouraged more and more of us who are able to become involved, to donate our time and our money to help relieve the pain we read those words about.

However, all too often lately, we have seen how words have been used to cause pain, disruption and anguish. I’m not referring to the misspoken word that is hurtful or the thoughtless comment that crushes. More and more it seems, words are being used to wreak havoc, cause disruptions and encourage forceful behavior.

There is no doubt that words spoken at a rally, and before, encouraged those with sincere belief in the speaker, to march on the U. S. Capitol with violence, causing destruction and deaths. Words did that!

There are more examples than I wish to cite of words used to bolster, inspire and support damaging actions. The past couple of years have been tough. We are all dealing with a new sort of reality, and we all cope with these things differently.

Let’s all try to use our words carefully and in the kindest way possible. Say “please” and “thank you” whenever you can – even if you have to force it a bit. Smile under that mask and the words will sound even kinder.

When you read someone else’s words, be careful that you are reading a trusted, informed source and not just someone who posted it online. I call the internet the “World’s Bathroom Wall.” Read things you find there accordingly!

But most of all, remember that your words — spoken, written or posted – can and will have an impact on others. Make sure that impact is positive